Sunday, May 15, 2016

Fighting a bit....

I seem to be fighting a bit of 'what's-the-point-itis' lately. That feeling of wanting to just give up on stuff that takes any amount of effort....and it all takes effort. I think I am still feeling the physical effects of a cold that Dad and I both had. He is still sick too, and it has been almost four weeks for him. I still have some lingering stuffiness but mainly I am just feeling weak and tired....and a bit depressed. The weather has not done much for my mood either. We had a long string of cold grey days; it has been a cool spring in general, and it seems as if when the sun does shine the wind is gonna blow like the dickens.
We did have a couple of nice days that I took advantage of. One day I went to Granby to take more photos for reference since all of my photos from there seem to be taken in Autumn. I wanted particularly to get some photos of the waterfalls at Enders State park before the trees were fully leafed out since it can get really dark in the gully.

I also went to the McLean Game Refuge and a few other places out there. It was a beautiful day.

The other nice days I spent in the garden. I had to keep resting, sometimes sitting in the wheel barrow if there was not a bench near by. That really makes me think it is not just depression that is making me feel so tired. 
Both of the nice days I also planned on finally doing some painting 'en plain air'. I have wanted to do that since last fall and for Christmas I got a special easel just for that. Well, I packed up my paints and easel but could not get myself to set up anywhere. No place seemed right enough for the effort. I was also afraid that someone would come by and see me painting. Why should that matter? I know it should not but until I do it a few times and build up some confidence I think that fear will be a factor. I thought I should just start by painting something here in the yard but again could not find anything that seemed worth the effort. That IS the depression speaking. Maybe this week I can overcome the fear and depression and just paint. 
I have done some painting but not as much as I was doing. My patron who was buying all my paintings on Ebay has stopped buying so sales have slackened and that is feeding into the feeling of 'what is the point?', though sales never were the point at all. It is times like this that I need to remember that what matters most is doing the thing. It really is all about the process, not the end results, not the sales, not the final product. Just do it, and do it with as much gusto as you can muster in that moment. And it is so true that inspiration follows action. Just get out the materials and make a start and do not wait for the inspiration. 
I had been wanting to do another pastel piece after seeing so many lovely works at the Academic Art show. So, while it was gloomy outside I went to the basement and got to work on a piece I had started a while ago. I really had to make myself get started on it but after a while I could feel a shift in my mood and in my thoughts from negativity and desire to quit to positivity and inspiration so strong I did not want to stop even for meals. It is a lesson I seem to keep needing to learn. 
Here is the finished piece.

And here are the Ebay paintings that I worked on.

I also reworked one of the the paintings that did not sell, and I think I made it better. I really like the texture of the paint in the foreground. I will list it this week to see of other people like it better now too.

Thursday, May 5, 2016

Finally a Thursday post on Thursday.....a week late....sigh.

I need to give myself credit for getting back to blogging and not get too critical about the fact that I am not exactly doing what I set out to do. So what if I am not quite blogging every Thursday like I planned?  I am still doing better at it than I was a month ago.
For someone who does not like to go out much I have been rather busy going places. I went to the opening for the CT + 6 show at the West Hartford Art League on the Sunday after my last post. This is a regional show; Connecticut plus the other 5 New England states and New York. I was very happy to have two pieces in this show. I did not realize what a feat that was until I heard that they had about 425 entries and only accepted 85 pieces. I was also very very happy to find out that I had won the Frame Dimensions award for my felt piece titled 'Enders' (the name of the park where the waterfall is located).

My colored pencil drawing titled "City Kitty" is the other piece I did that was accepted into this show.

 I went to help with the hanging of the Academic Artist's show on the 26th. Being on the council for this group has been really good for me in terms of feeling more a part of the local artist community. It has also given me a new appreciation for all that goes in to mounting an art show. We had the opening for this show on Sunday the 1st. It is a fantastic show with some museum quality pieces in a beautiful gallery.

I was also busy doing more paintings for Ebay. Here are the newest paintings.

I also went to the Connecticut Sheep and Wool festival and found out I really am not done with fiber. I did not plan on buying anything and was going mainly to see my friend. I certainly was not going to buy a fleece....

Or any more wool roving....